How Adult Indulgence in Hunger Games Leaves the Spirit Hungry

 

There is a reason why most dystopian novels are classified as juvenile literature. They are on the transformative boundary of the awakening of the spirit. We, once exposed to hellish possibilities in our own lives and futures, have the choice to move past them. The choice is to lavish in the demons of egoism and passivity, or to prepare a better path of communion with our fellows and the Divine.

Whether our active choice is to embrace and transcend in spiritual awareness or to move politically to develop a future where the ideal is closer to the real (or both), we are acting and developing. The caterpillar is becoming or has become a butterfly.

The metamorphosis to a new and more developed sense of self and others might be painful and lonely at times, and changing ourselves and our world for the better certainly takes perseverance through major obstacles. But if we merely flirt with the possibility of transformation, we are like a caterpillar too long in a chrysalis. It may be less work to think and not move, but it is a certain death.

To remain untransformed and on the border of adolescence refuses to accept the challenge that juvenile dystopian novels offer to us. Each generation has their own version of The Hunger Games. Orwell's Big Brother in 1984 and Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale featured prominently in my early years of adolescence. Once beautiful offerings to awakening, if they are taken to motivate action, we can look back on these great works as transformative of our ideals. They beckon us not to go once more to the movies in our 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s, but instead to develop ourselves and our communities.

We very hungry caterpillars can become unique and beautiful butterflies if we only allow nature to do its job and work with our own hunger for goodness and transformation to develop ourselves and our communities for the good.

The Story Behind My Stand Up Comedy Premiere

 

  Heather's First Stand Up Performance, at Standup Scottsdale in AZ

Click on the above link to see the youtube video of my first standup performance! 

This past Christmas while visiting my family in Phoenix, Arizona, I went to a stand up comedy show featuring Chris Strait. My sister, Summer, and my best friend for the past 19 years, Holly, came with. I am grateful to be friends with some incredibly funny people and one of the things I love to do is go to see stand up comedy. That night as we all gathered outside Standup Scottsdale, I was somehow getting a lot of laughs from my jokes as we mingled with comedians. I had never imagined doing stand up before, mostly because I have so many talented friends who are much better at telling jokes than I am, but everyone seemed to be encouraging me to try it. My sister even told me she could get me into a show at the bar she is a bartender at because they host a weekly comedy night. I was pretty excited and added doing stand up once to my "bucket list". One day I'll share more of the wacky things I've done in the name of living fully and being a daring force of nature.

I began to prepare a few jokes in anticipation of doing a three minute spot in the summer. My other best friend, Jennifer, who is an amazing comedian, was relieved when I told her I was going to try stand up. Why relieved, you might ask? Because for the past ten years I've been encouraging her to do stand up and I have been cutely (aka annoyingly) evaluating her conversational jokes and telling her to "throw that one on the joke pile!" Now she is delighting in telling me to throw it on the joke pile myself.

I was pretty fed up with the seemingly unceasing amounts of snow in Massachusetts this winter, and in February I decided to go to Phoenix for Spring Break in March. I flew in at midnight on Monday and Holly and I saw that there was a comedy show at Standup Scottsdale on Wednesday evening. We went, and it was an open mic night, though to be honest, most of the comedians were professionals and were very good. There was even a guy who came from LA to do the show! As is our style, Holly and I decided we would make friends with everyone who was willing to hear our stories and enjoy laughing with us, and before the show we ended up trading some humorous chat with the show's producer, Nick Paul. He wanted me to tell him one of the jokes I was preparing for the summer and of course I said "No! I don't want you to steal it! I'll share it tonight with the audience, though." Yes, that is what I said. Sheesh, Heather, way to get yourself into a bind! But also: way to "live, live live!" as Auntie Mame would say. He invited me up during his set and I gave a one minute routine that was greeted by loads of laughter and the respect of many of the comedians afterwards. I am enormously ecstatic to be able to have successfully pulled off my first stand up comedy performance. Thank you, Holly, Summer, Jennifer, and Nick Paul! You all rock!

Going Responsibly into Debt and Other Lessons from Personally Living in Poverty

As a child we would spend every day through most of the year in the the public pool at our apt complex. We would get one swimsuit a year.

My sixth birthday party, a big splurge for my family, at a park with some rides.

It's taken me years to admit it to people, because I was so deeply ashamed, but I grew up in poverty. I think it would have been hard to guess it, because I was clean, well-mannered, and dressed nicely. I was well-educated and had some knowledge of arts and culture. But it was a secret I kept with me all my childhood, throughout college and grad school and well into my adulthood. I didn't have a phone growing up until I was about 12 years old. We used a pay phone and because of that, I was not able to say goodbye to my best friend who moved out of our apartment complex when I was 6. We were on government assistance at one point when my mom was single and going through a job transition. We drank evaporated milk and ate peanut butter and we were always grateful when we were able to treat ourselves to a doughnut from Mitchell's Market or a hard candy cane. I never got those dance or music lessons that I wanted. We didn't have a car and my mom would splurge to get me Dial-a-Ride early in the mornings before school so I could go to choir practice.

Things got better for my family economically when I was in sixth grade and we moved to a better area, but the kids at school made fun of me for dressing in the same clothes every week. I didn't have a computer in high school or even my first year of college, and I would write my papers and go to school early to use the computers there. I loved books and films about class struggles and developing the inner person.

My fourth grade class photo. Dressed in a lacy dress and heels, no one thought I wasn't well-off.

I admired Patty and Cathy, the adventurous identical cousins on the Patty Duke Show, and built small businesses in arts and crafts when I was young like they did. I've found a few friends in whom I've been able to confide, and those friends helped me to feel less ashamed of my circumstances and to embrace who I am and what I've done with my life in celebration. My mom simultaneously beams and cries at her pride in what I've accomplished in my life. I am the best educated person in my family and I made it all on my own.

My childhood idols, the cultured Cathy and the adventurous Patty. They could do anything if they put their minds to it.

HERE ARE A FEW THINGS I LEARNED GROWING UP IN POVERTY.

1. It isn't the lack of having things that was the main problem, but rather, feeling isolated, ashamed, and unsafe that haunted me. In our society we teach people, including kids, that the wealthy are better, in almost every way. I needed food at school, but out of shame I never ate a free school lunch. My mom would make a modest lunch and it would be ok. Having to hide my situation made it the case that I had few friends, and when I was invited somewhere with a friend I almost always had to say no. We didn't have a car and I would have to walk most places, and I was afraid much of the time. I was nearly raped when I was 7. If not for a neighborhood boy walking home from school not far from the incident, I would have had to deal with that, as well.

My desk as a child, bought second hand like most of my things.

2. Because I grew up in poverty, I really appreciated the things I had and I developed myself and my intellectual and creative talents. I used resources like the school library and apartment complex's pool to entertain myself. Because of my experience and the richness of intellectual, creative, and athletic resources I had despite my financial difficulties, I have a hard time accepting that children who are raised in public schools without any camps or lessons are unable to develop themselves. There is running and playing soccer with friends, there is reading at the public library and writing essays and stories, and a set of watercolors or a pencil and some paper are only a few dollars for months of artistic activity. Despite this, I do think that kids who have lessons and camps and activities are able to create more social relationships and for that reason and many others, are in fact greatly advantaged. I was deeply sorry I could not take dance lessons as a child. I felt alone at school and besides that, I loved dance. Instead of dance lessons, my parents, reunited when I was age 12, gave me a ballet kit that included a video and even a ballet bar so that I could practice by myself.

3. Paying for college was tough, and I knew it would be. Throughout high school I entered scholarship competitions in order to fund myself. I spent nearly every day after school my junior year in the scholarship office of my high school, going through big books of funding and writing essays for sponsored competitions. My hard work paid off and I won a few scholarships. They probably totaled to no more than $8,000, however. I was ambitious and for college I knew exactly where I wanted to go: Reed College, a private, elite, alternative liberal arts college that rivaled the ivy leagues. Reed sent someone from Oregon to Arizona to interview me, after I had submitted an application package including my experience in cancer labs for microbiology, literary magazines where I had published and edited volumes, sample reviews from theatre productions I had been in, and art that I had produced. I was perfect for Reed and they accepted me. However, at over $30,000 a year (and this was back in 1996) and only a guarantee for funding in my sophomore year, I knew I could not afford it. My dreams were squashed, I thought, and in resignation I went to Arizona State University. If it would have been possible, I would have gone. If any of my students or anyone I know has an opportunity like this I HIGHLY RECOMMEND GOING INTO DEBT FOR IT. If you can take out loans, this is the time to do it. Unfortunately, loans in this country for education are unavailable to college students unless they get their parents to cooperate in the loan approval process or they are fully emancipated from their parents. This applies to college students even if they are over 18. Because my mom simply did not understand, and was unable to bring herself to cooperate in either of these methods for helping me to apply for loans, I was unable to go.

4. I have to admit, I was discouraged. But I went to Arizona State University and got the best education I could there, while working a full time job to pay for my rent, bills, food, and books. At one point, I had not only a full time job, but in addition a part time job as a receptionist at a resort hotel on the graveyard shift, where I worked overnight on the weekends. I started to go insane and fall asleep on my long drives to and from school and work, and after a few months, I quit the graveyard shift and allowed myself to go into a little more credit card debt to afford food and bills. I worked my way through school and it was hard. Really hard. I didn't always read the assigned material, write the best essays, or even stay awake in classes because I essentially had two full time jobs: one at work, and one at school. What I learned from all of this is that I needed to understand and accept my limits. We live in a society where we can take out money on credit if we need it, and my mentality that I should not go into debt held me back. As soon as I recognized that living was more important than refraining from gathering debt, I became happier, more balanced, and was able to excel in college. I believe going into debt, not irresponsibly, but RESPONSIBLY,  allowed me to do well enough in college my last two years to enable me to get acceptance immediately into a Ph.D. program in philosophy. And though getting a Ph.D. was hard, it was easy in comparison to what had led up to it for me. Finally at a point where I could focus on my education, I worked hard and never looked back.

5. Now as a professor I have my own college students to inspire. I knew I had to succeed, because every time I failed at something, even if I had worked hard for it, I learned something important about who I am and the kind of person I want to be. Now, THAT, and not getting a Ph.D. or a tenure-track job at a university, is my crowning achievement. I am proud to be a person who worked hard through my trials to became a better and more balanced person, to become someone who is able to be compassionate towards others in disadvantaged situations and to truly understand from the INSIDE, that the value of a person is not in what they make or where they were educated, but in who they are.

Why I Hate "What Not to Wear": 4 Steps on Breaking the Rules and Unleashing Your Inner Fashionista

I've been into fashion since I was six years old. I dressed in lacy dresses and heels for school and absolutely refused to wear jeans. (When I went all out for flag football in a peach mini skirt and was tackled by a boy in the mud, I was one angry 10 year old girl!). I really hated "What Not to Wear" when it came out. Sorry, Stacy, but I think it stifles creativity and fun when everyone dresses the same way, a la Macy's black pants and colorful dress shirts. It's a recipe for creating cookie-cutter style that COMPLETELY UNDERMINES TRUE BEAUTY AND CREATIVITY.

Fashion is about EXPRESSING WHO YOU ARE. By doing this, we communicate our identity, creativity, and we use fashion to feel confident and free. Here's my breakdown on how to unleash your inner fashionista.

1. Look through fashion magazines (such as Vogue, Vanity Fair, and Nylon) and find things that appeal to your sense of BEAUTY. Don't worry about what colors and styles look good on you. My friend once reflected to me a few years ago that I seemed arrogant when I told her in high school that "all colors look good on me." Actually, I meant and still do mean it! But it applies to everyone. Find the colors that you love and they will look good on you! Explore, express, and have fun!

2. Look through fashion designers and find a favorite to "reference" in your style. Mine is Oscar de la Renta. Beauty, romance, and drama are his forte.

3. Find a store or two in your local mall that has clothes that fit your style. Try things on. Have fun. Don't hold yourself back. Take pictures of what you look like with a smart phone or ask the salesperson or your friend to do it for you while you're in the dressing room. You'll see which outfits look best on you and you can go back to buy them later. Or, my favorite -- you can find similar look-alikes online or at discount stores like Ross and Marshalls. My go-to store is Marciano.

4. Be bold! Wear things that are out of the box. If you like it and you feel comfortable and confident in it, you will look amazing. More important, it will be YOUR LOOK, YOUR STYLE. I take fashion risks constantly. I found this expensive nude silk dress at an LA boutique. It was discounted dramatically to $20 because it was a size large. (Who wears a large in LA?) At 5'1'' I wear a size extra small, but I put it on, let the pretty strap hang down, and belted it. Every time I wear it people are amazed. I do things like this all the time that are technically "against the rules." Break the rules! Unleash your inner fashionista!

Best Products for Curly Shiny Bouncy Soft Hair

Like most women with curly hair, I have a closet full of hair products, and I want to share my favorite products out of  probably a thousand dollars of hair care product purchases over the past 15 years. I have hard to care for curly, coarse, and frizzy hair that I've managed to make one of my favorite features through using a few carefully chosen products. Here are my top choices. All together, these purchases will be about $60 for six products of about two to four months of supplies. 1. Paul Mitchell Lavender Tea Tree Moisturizing Shampoo,  2. Joico Moisture Recovery Conditioner, 3. Joico Moisture Recovery Treatment Balm, 4. Joico Smooth Leave in Anti-Frizz Treatment, 5. Beyond the Zone Split End Mender, and 6. Pantene Straighten and Smooth Cream.

7 Albums Closest to My Heart

The songs on these albums are full of insight and emotion. They feature a kaleidoscope of wonder and bewilderment with the world, the heart, and the mind in a dazzling array of ways. And they have been essential somehow in how I've made peace with some of my most significant quandaries. Note that this is not a best of or favorites list, but a heart-based list.

1. Tracy Chapman, Telling Stories (2000). This album is for hope and truth in the face of paradox and the human condition. "Are we all just telling stories?" This album helped me through my first year of graduate school, after I had moved to a new state alone, and had recently broken up with my first love.

2. Simon and Garfunkel, Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme (1966). Mysterious and contemplatively haunting. "Cloudy" and "Flowers Never Bend with the Rainfall" are two favorites, though hearing this album from start to finish is imperative in understanding each song. Not bright and happy, as some of the melodies suggest, the lyrics and placement of tracks on this album demonstrate a coming to grips with the tragedy in the world we create through resting in nature. I took my dad to an Art Garfunkel show in either 1996 or 1997. It was a tiny, intimate theatre and Garfunkel's presence was light and airy. The varieties of percussion in the center of the round was astounding.

3. Fiona Apple, Tidal (1996). In this album, Apple's voice, rich and inspired, sang of the complexities of love and emotion. Sexy and jazzy, yet completely contemporary in tone and in lyrical quality, she made me want to sing with her. She made me understand that the heart can carry several incompatible desires at once and that even broken love is beautiful beyond compare in its depth and mystery. "Slow Like Honey" is an example of all of these features coming together in a way that feels necessary and natural.

4. Beck, The Information (2006). This album celebrates life and love in our contemporary digital age. It is eclectic and humorous in its approach and I find myself, as with all truly great music, stopping completely whatever I am in the middle of doing, as soon as one of the songs begins. I heard "Think I'm in Love," the second track on this album, for the first time in my life during a point at which I was indeed feeling as though I might be in love.

5. Pink Floyd, The Wall (1982). Inciting dreams, nightmares, and rebellion, The Wall asks us to question authority and tradition, to escape the maze of society, and to use the power of our individuality, intelligence, and even our insanity. Though I cannot listen to this album any longer, it was significant in my life for many years. My father, who passed in Dec 2010, just a week before his 59th birthday, took me to my first concert, Pink Floyd, The Division Bell, in 1994 when I was a freshman in high school. The show was so spectacular, the audience so involved at each moment, the gigantic pig heads with glowing eyes rocking to the music, the light show and the words "HEY TEACHER" lit up stories as we all chanted together, thousands upon thousands of people singing the lyrics of The Wall together. Weed permeated the air and I have to say that hundreds of live shows later, this was still by far the most spectacular. I continued to listen to Pink Floyd regularly throughout high school and my father, a few years before his death, would watch the movie, The Wall, while he was going through difficult times. Every Pink Floyd song reminds me of my dad.


6. The Beatles, "Anything at all!" (1963-1970) For a dose of happy and carefree nostalgia, I look no further than The Beatles. While growing up, my sister, Summer, and I used to listen to all of the albums and memorize them. We would quiz each other: "What album is "Octopus's Garden" on?" "What is the number of the track for "Blackbird" on The White Album?" "Can you name the exact order of the songs  on Revolver and sing a lyric for each one?" My best friend in high school, Diane, and I, also shared a love of the Beatles and it's a bonding experience whenever I meet a fellow fan. Nathan, Levi, the list goes on and on.... At first Abbey Road and Magical Mystery Tour were my favorites, then it was Abbey Road and The White Album. Then it was Revolver and Rubber Soul, then it was Revolver and Hard Day's Night. Did you know that Paul McCartney actually sang a Beatles song called "Heather"? See this youtube to hear my song. It's a rare one!

7. The Talking Heads, Everything (1977-1988). The Talking Heads specialize in humor and playfulness; their artful songs are ridiculous and eschew the traditional subjects of love and loss. They celebrate the crazy life of those peculiar people that are one part each intellectual, artist, and (we hope) harmless neurotic. My best friend, Jennifer, and I sang hours and hours of The Talking Heads together for five years as roommates in grad school for philosophy. We also played them nearly exclusively on practically every road trip we took together. In addition, we hold their songs on houses and city life verses country life close to our hearts. We celebrated with The Talking Heads when we moved from a garage apartment where we had no closet or oven to a huge contemporary house with four bedrooms, two stories, three baths, three patios, a garden, two fireplaces, a separate study, and a closet as big as a 10x10 room. It had, as David Byrne would say "every convenience."